Unheard Voices
The unglamorous life of a modest, unassuming Alaskan
Click on Archives: October, 2005 to see the contents of this month’s paper.
By Geoff Bederson
What is the news of the real and the unheard voices which express this? That is the mystery which this newspaper seeks to explore. Accustomed as we are to coarse or screeching voices, it is hard to hear the soft, gentle and wise ones.
Meek people are scarcely audible and scarcely visible. They do not proclaim themselves. They are more likely to be found sleeping on a floor than in a mansion on the Hillside. They are riding a bus, or standing on a street corner. They do not clamor for recognition. They don’t make speeches or run for office.
They may not be able to say why it is that they live as they do, and they may not even know. But they are misfits only from the perspective of society; from the reality that they perceive, there is a tremendous coherence. It’s not that they lack the drive for success: there is another kind of drive which motivates them and brings them to the brink of reality - the reality that exists all around us and which we will be able to see when the scales finally fall away from our eyes.
Phil Reid: I was born in Cordova, Alaska. Mom & Dad moved to Anchorage when I was two years old. I graduated from West High School in 1980. I like animals, dog races. I used to have a dog team, just for recreation, when I had my property in Knik.
I’ve been kind of living on the edge for about three years. I’ve been traveling all over, to Kenai, Homer, and Anchorage, living with friends. Now I want to get settled down and get serious, be more stable, so I can help others.
What do you mean by ‘living on the edge’?
It’s living by faith. It’s when you don’t know where you’re going to live, where your next meal is coming from. I just pray to God. He said, Do you have trust in me? And I said Yes.
Three years ago I was working for a construction company, and I hit a moose. I lost my truck and my license, and from there I just went downhill. Now I’m doing day labor, and working with friends.
I spend a lot of time at the bus station. It is a broken place. There are a lot of people are hurting, in need. It drains me, spiritually and mentally. I talk to many people there, from drug addicts to homosexuals, people who are just down. They have lost everything. The only thing I can offer them is an ear, and prayer. I have lived on the streets myself. It’s a scary feeling.
Why didn’t you take the normal path of people who have a profession or trade?
When I got out of high school I went to business school. I wanted to go that way, to do business, to have more things. I wanted to go that path, but God stopped it. I can’t say it didn’t matter to me. It did matter, I didn’t want to struggle. But now it doesn’t really bother me.
What stopped me was that I didn’t have the necessary drive to push and become successful. I didn’t want to put my effort into it. Sometimes fear stopped me. There are some people that try and can’t make it to that point.
Sometimes I struggle with that. I do feel isolated, because of where I am in my walk of life. Because I’m not in their bracket, I’m not in their league, I’m not ‘keeping up with the Joneses.’ Some people try to hold others back, a person who is trying to move up and be successful. They put you in a different category. This does limit me. I don’t have the tools to make it to where they are. I would need more college.
How do you feel about living in this world? Do you feel comfortable in it? Do you suffer because of it?
I like America, in some aspects. We can move about. In other countries there is more persecution. In some aspects, no. There is evil in the world and in things that are going on.
What I mean by evil is Satan, and demons. By nature humans are fallen. Evil is brought on by wants and desires, if you’re not grounded. Satan is in this world right now. Evil is anything that doesn’t reflect the commandments of Yahweh. Things that are happening in the families, in villages and here in town. Incest, heavy drinking, things that break up the family.
What about culture? Is there evil in American culture?
In some aspects it is evil. Growing up TV was like a babysitter for me. There is so much evil on TV. It desensitizes me. Murder, sexual innuendos, are a bad influence. TV could be a good teaching tool, but Hollywood and the news media are pretty much evil.
Homosexuality is glorified on TV. You are what you watch. There are harmful reality shows. There are demonic video games. They are very violent, and gang-related, raping women, murder, hijacking cars.
The Internet can be a very bad influence. They should take pornography off the Internet. It should be illegal on the Internet. Sex is good, but it’s between a man and his wife. I’ve seen many marriages break up through pornography. In some cases pornography leads to child molestation. Aside from the effects, it is wrong to begin with, and it shouldn’t be on there at all. It should be prohibited.
How does living in this culture affect you? Is this the kind of world that was envisioned by God, when God created the universe? After the millennium, in Paradise, will there be a Wal-Mart?
People do need to buy things. If I need something, I will shop. If I’m hungry, groceries might help. But movies, theaters, warehouses stores--they usually are not a good influence. They don’t have a godly influence.
In general, it’s materialistic. There’s nothing wrong with having these things. But in some people this brings greed, it makes them covetous. You don’t care how you get it. Sometimes you’ll just take it from your neighbor. Even some of today’s women are materialistic.
At supermarkets checkout stands, there is Cosmopolitan. In the magazine sections of stores like Barnes & Noble and Borders and Books, there is Playboy and hardcore, explicit magazines.
For me, just having the basics is enough. Being materialistic doesn’t really help.
Have you ever suffered?
Of course, everyone suffers. Let me begin with the physical. I spent nine years of my life in and out of the hospital. I had two major operations. I wasn’t supposed to live past fifteen.
I suffered verbally, mentally. How you speak to your kids is important. ‘You’re dumb, you won’t amount to nothing.’ I want to break that cycle. My parents were divorced. There was love there, but living in a broken family there isn’t structural love, which is what God wanted. There will be no divorce in my life.
What would you like to see in the world?
I would like to see a more loving world. I would like to see all of us live by the Ten Commandments. Help our neighbors. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I would like to see no more evil, no more sickness or death. I know this won’t happen until the Messiah comes.
I think the world could be a better place. It could reflect who we are. I would like to see more people helping people. For instance, my friend Tim has been helping me learn carpentry. We shouldn’t leave this to schools. We should help each other become self-reliant.
There should be more miracles. We should have more faith. We should have a love, a genuine love, for our neighbors, without any hate or animosity. I think that’s when the real miracles come. With that love and faith, we can change the world.
It seems that you have found a small community of people that nurture each other in faith.
It’s the Messianic movement, a small group that I’m in. We’re not all perfect. We try to help each other the best we can. We encourage one another. If you want to find out more about the faith, send me an email (to ). I would love to share my faith.
I want to try to be a light to the world. I try to bring a little joy, whenever we strike up a conversation, whether I’m working or out on the street, walking.
